Busy Making Others Happy?

Written by Dian Trabulsy

On September 8, 2021

Are you busy making others happy?

Do you spend so much time and energy making everyone else’s life awesome that you don’t get to focus on your own?
I used to be the queen of procrastination when it came to taking care of myself.  I would say that I’d get to it later… when my to-do list was completed or when this or that thing with my kids was settled or work slowed down.  Guess what? That magical time when I’d have space and energy to do something for me never happened.

I’ve learned that I have to be ruthless with creating it.

And if I don’t, months or years go by and I wonder, what about me?  Is this really how I want to be spending my time?  What about my dreams?

Before we can expend even more energy on our own dreams and projects, we first need to repair… repair our nervous system, repair our schedule, repair our soul.  We need a moment to chhiiiillll and remember what it’s like to have space, energy, and a life force.

I see women every day jumping through flaming hoops to make their kids, friends, parents, even random strangers happy.  Most of the time it comes from love, some of the time it comes from pressure or feeling like we need to jump through flaming hoops to receive love.
And I’ve so been there.
The truth is that we’ve been brainwashed to serve others at the expense of living our own life.
I’m not saying you have to stop doing things for other people, I just want you to ALSO prioritize doing things that light you up.
But since we’re so brainwashed to think that doing things for ourselves, or having our own life, is selfish, we need to prioritize it first thing in the morning. Or else we get sidetracked!

So how to prioritize yourself as busy as you are?

Here’s my recommendation to experience a jumpstart of your days or lives:

Set aside a sacred time

15 minutes – 45 minutes, depending on your schedule in the first thing in the morning just for yourself. I sometimes have to wake up at 5:30 am in the morning before my day starts, but it’s so worth it.

Create a sacred place

Creating sacred space starts with an altar in a place you can be alone in the morning. This could be in your bedroom, your living room before the kids get up or in a corner of your kitchen. An altar is just a flat surface you can put some sacred items on. An altar is meant to pull you in, to enliven your energy and create an environment that inspires you to tap into that juicy, feminine magical part of you. When I lived in an apartment, I kept my altar items in a basket and laid them out on my coffee table every morning. Your altar can be as simple as one candle or filled to the brim with things that light you up. Some other options include a cloth to lay over your altar, cleaning herbs, crystals that resonate with you, Tarot or/and Oracle card decks and incense.

Cleanse yourself with 3 deep breaths

You may also want to light an energy clearing herb like rosemary or cedar. White Sage is currently endangered so please do not use it unless you grow it yourself, you are of indigenous descent or if it’s been gifted by an indigenous person. You can also cleanse yourself with drops of saltwater. But I think 3 deep breaths works great.

Set into the mood

Light candle(s) or/and incense, for example.  Please be reminded to have a pure and grateful heart for yourselves in taking this time in honoring yourself.

Create your own “rituals”

The number one priority of this time is to HAVE FUN and give your intuition space to be heard. A lot of other morning ritual recommendations or guides failed because they’re not unique enough for you and you only. Here is a list of sacred tools for you to use during YOUR own morning rituals. I suggest you try one to three things a day until you find what works for you and lights you up. I do something different every morning. Again, the point is to just have this sacred time for yourself. Make it as fun and juicy as possible.

  • Dance: Just put on some music, close your eyes and move. Maybe your inner child wants to dance, or your inner seductress. Maybe your anger wants to dance and rage and scream.
  • Meditation: invite in wisdom, magic and positive energy through meditation. Perhaps you want to ask your intuition a question and allow the answer to come into your empty vessel as a vision or message. Perhaps you want to ask for a healing color to fill you. It’s important to choose a meditation format that you like.
  • Journaling: This is really a free-form exercise and there’s no rule around it other than writing out your thoughts and let your mind flow freely. I ask questions. When I sit down and write questions like, “what do you want me to know?” “What does my most fully expressed self look like?”,  sometimes they write back, sometimes they don’t. This will feel super weird in the beginning, but try it every day for a week, and you’ll be shocked about how you really feel like something else takes over when you write the answer.
  • Anoint your body: I love rubbing oils and essential oils on my body. I use jojoba oil and doterra and sensually anoint my whole body while I tell myself how much I love myself. And that love, love that wasn’t about beauty, but about my body being my home, was enough. And that love was so nourishing that my energy shifted, and my eating and moving behaviors changed, and I felt more alive and I did start to love how I looked.
  • Pull cards: I work with both a Tarot Deck (a set language and structure of cards containing 4 suits and the Major Arcana) and different Oracle decks which have an infinite number of themes and focuses. Tarot is a great tool for connecting with your intuition, but it can feel overwhelming, or super triggering for anyone who wants to feel like an expert. It takes a lot of time and attention to learn the Tarot and it’s ok to fumble around with this sacred tool. I pull cards every morning and I’m not a professional Tarot reader.

Are you ready to craft your fun, nourishing and unique morning sacred ritual?

Light and love,

Dian x.

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